A place to be..

Even when we were a child, people often ask us what we wanted to be..

An architect! A doctor! An engineer! A superhero!

I remembered myself shouting those words with excitement..
None of it came true, not even quite close.. change of heart perhaps? or just waking up to what is reachable and what is far from reality..

An architect? I'm not even good at drawing.. A doctor? my family cannot afford it.. An engineer? Taken by discouragements.. A superhero? uhmm, really?

As I grew old and more mature, my interests also grew far from a child's..

Nursing? Lots of opportunity (at least during that time).. Chemistry? I love this subject.. Biology? What the hell, I almost failed that subject in HS..

well.. I ended up finishing biology, -_- the course I planned to take just for challenge because I hardly learned from it back in HS.. At first it was a bit scary..

what am I doing here? what is it that awaits me? what job? what future?..

Far from home, it was a bit hard for me to adjust but it didn't take that long for me to be able to..
4 and a half years have passed, I grew independent.. I learned to enjoy the path I took but still, I don't know what I want to be.. Where I want to be..


Until I met her.. that one person I wanted to be with for the rest of my life.. Everything seemed to be clearer.. at least clearer than how it was..I was motivated, inspired, and suddenly I knew the path I would want to take.. from then on I planned my future.. and in every part, she was in it.. Everything seemed so perfect.. I'm on the right track, full speed towards my dream.. Everything back then was for "us"


But things don't always end up the way we wanted them to.. No matter how you plan it, no matter how perfect it looked like.. the universe always finds its way to play tricks on you and mess things up..
Suddenly she chose a different path, a path far from what we planned.. A path where I was not in it..

Everything looked so different.. Suddenly the future became pitch black.. back to where I was..
what do I want to do? where do I want to be? I know I can, but I lack the motivation.. what for? why? for whom? I'm not a "for my self" guy.. I'd rather do something for others than do it for myself - which became the culprit of my death..


I don't know how to sum things up.. It is always good to have a plan, but not for everything.. sometimes you just have to let things happen.. some of the best things in life are unplanned..
reaching our dreams is not easy.. but neither is knowing it.. 'coz it is in knowing what we truly want, what our hearts desire, that we will find true happiness, contentment..